Bipolar · Bipolar Disorder · children · Depression · family · hypersexuality · life · mania · Manic · Manic Depressive · marriage · parenting · sex · Uncategorized

This Moment

When’s the last time I felt the wind on my face or better yet the last time I sat down to actually absorbed it. To register a windy day and enjoy how it pushes and envelopes me in its cool embrace. The intoxicating fresh air and the peaceful sounds of the rippling water. Have I ever enjoyed it…I can’t remember? When have I felt so much but yet little enough to actually embrace the feeling. The oranges are slowly falling of the neighbor’s orange tree and the budding flowers slowly emerging as spring awakens. The smell of life and the feel of the sun arising for a new day. It’s something that has always been there begging to be seen but I couldn’t possible take the time to grasp. What is it that makes it so easy to push away… Push away from life, the day, my existence all the while grasping straws for some sort of meaning. The leaves are swirling, dancing with the wind and allowing themselves to be swept away to the next adventure. The sun is bright but hides and peaks into he clouds, in order provide light and darkness all at a moment’s notice. Dogs barking in the distance muffled by the sounds of laughter from just next door. Life is happening around me, when is the last time I embraced it? Saddened by the realization I have hidden inside my madness for so long. Grateful that for this moment, if only a moment its recognized,..Its appreciated. Cars passing by in the distance, bustling about on a Sunday morning. I wonder where they are going. Maybe a BBq, maybe church or maybe food shopping as Sundays are usually a good day to remember the things that need to be done and the family time you need to spend.  Plans for Sunday Dinner perhaps? Everyone around you living and embracing existence, have you?  How many times have I taken notice of the shimmering water as the sun hits it just right. The relaxation this whole moment brings. I don’t get many moments such as this. I will take it, use it to feed me and fuel me with positivity and beauty as this moment was meant for.  This moment was meant for nothing or no one and yet it means everything.

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