I have seen the overloading, inexplicable need to be perfect and to be the best, wife, mother, friend, daughter and employee a woman can possibly be. I know I wrote this blog to tell you that you can do it all and I still hold true to that statement but I also want you to know that it is OK. It’s OK to have moments of doubt and fear. It’s OK that you don’t know everything. Its OK that things can get a bit overwhelming because we live in a time where women do everything but to everyone around them they never do enough. Find your inner peace, the place you go to in order to get away. Take a deep breath and relax because you are only one person and doing the best you can.
I can honestly admit I get anxiety attacks due to all the jobs that I have on my plate and to be misunderstood and easily dismissed can be frustrating. The best description for anxiety for me and the way a lot of Bipolar women feel that are taking on, their world goes something like this:
“It feels like a freight train running through the middle of my head.
Like being trapped in a tiny phone booth with 12 other people and they’re all yelling at you to the point where all their voices become your own.
Like the brain being on speed while your body tries desperately and unsuccessfully to catch up.
Like being a genius that no one understands and being annoyed at the stupidity of everyone else.
Like being unable to complete a thought before another comes and runs over the first, blanking it out without completion.
Like torment from the pulsating cell walls that won’t shut up for one moment and let you think.
Like crying and running and screaming and jumping and scratching and clawing and hitting and gnashing all at the same time.
Like tossing and turning all night long
Like anxiety created from not being able to quell the millions of thoughts or being able to facilitate the thousands of movements being demanded of the human body all at once.
And like a million other things all happening at once inside one tiny head unable to contain them all.
And, personally, I have to keep telling myself that everything is fine because it feels like it’s really not and that I’m going to freak the hell out at that very next moment.
BUT…It will be alright and it’s OK. Some women need anxiety pills to make it through the day, some use exercise / yoga and some try breathing methods. Whatever the method, find your relief to get through the day because you are amazing but even amazing people need to know it’s OK.